The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make Looking for Their Life Purpose

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Do you want to live a life of purpose and meaning, helping others, and are looking for clarity as to what that is?

Do you have it all, but still feel stuck, or that something is missing and don’t know what it is?

Do you tell yourself your life could be worse? That you should be happy with your lot. But still, there is that inner voice telling you there is more you came here to do?

“A life of purpose is one lived with passion, commitment and the kind of fervour that only your soul can ignite” ~ Anjani

I am a ‘reformed’ corporate lawyer. I had a very successful career in law. I had the house. The relationship. The status. The money. The international travel. You name it. I had it. But with all of that, I was miserable. And I didn’t know why. I couldn’t figure it out. For someone who was supposedly a smart, intelligent woman, I was missing something that I couldn’t put my finger on.

From the first inklings of feeling like this, it took me a decade of inner searching to discover what it was. What I found was not only profound, but also so simple, that I felt compelled to share it with others. It was, if you have not guessed yet, … purpose.
I now make it my business to equip others in a similar situation to align with their purpose and live it successfully. Working with me as your mentor with such a clear goal in mind helps shortcut all the dead ends, dark alleys and red herrings that steer us away from our purpose. I offer a fast track well trodden successful route.

I hear countless stories from intelligent, successful women and men who seemingly have it all but are not happy. The can afford those little luxuries in life but it lacks a deep sense of meaning for them. They feel lost or stuck. They know they came here to do something bigger, to help others. But they need help to get there.

In the decade that I have been doing this work, I have come across a number of similarities that trip us up on our path to a more meaningful life. The top 3 biggest mistakes that I experience people make when looking to discover and live their purpose in life are:

1. Assuming today doesn’t count.

Having a mindset or belief that your purpose is not going to be realised by you today is precisely why it won’t be.

Today is full of miraculous opportunities and synchronicities to meet new people, receive new ideas and be inspired. But most of us are on autopilot and we miss the signs.

Our daily routines are the perfect example of this. Driving is a classic one. Most of us drive daily more than once a day or at least are driven to or from some place. It is so common that our tendency is to ‘switch off’ to the action of it. We can be engaged in all sorts of activities at the same time as driving or being drive, such as using our phones, listening to music or checking ourself out in the mirrors.

Imagine you are driving in traffic and see a car in a side street waiting to join the road you are driving along. They are sitting in their car waiting for a gap in the traffic. As you approach them, you slow down and flash your lights to let them in. What do they do? Smile, wave, thank you and take the opportunity? Sometimes. But often they miss it. They are not even looking. They’re on their phone, or chatting to the other people in the car or are somehow lost in their own little world. They are not expecting someone to be kind enough to let them out. You try flashing them again. Still no response. So, you give up and drive off. They missed the opportunity when it presented itself to them, because they were not expecting it, they were not looking for it.

This is true for all of us in some way every day. If we are not looking for or expecting what we want, we will not be present to it when it presents itself. We miss the countless signs and opportunities that present themselves every day.

If you are not expecting your purpose to turn up today, it won’t.

We get busy being busy. Sure its a good distraction, but it doesn’t help your cause to line up with your purpose.

* Choose to become consciously alert to the gifts that today is bringing you.

Set a clear intention at the start of the day, before you get out of bed and into your head, that you are going to be aware of anything that will bring you closer to your purpose. There is a part of the brain called the reticular activating system (‘RAS’) which automatically programs itself to ignore your habitual routine and surroundings and be on alert to new stimulus.

In other words, when you are in the routine of the day your brain is sifting and sorting through all the external stimulus looking for new information.

A good example is if you live on a main road or near an airport, over time your brain tunes out to the noise and you don’t notice it. When you consciously give your brain the order to be on the look out for something, you override the brains automatic tuning in and out process. It will still tune out traffic noise, but it will also alert you to new opportunities, connections, ideas and inspiration.

* Slow down.

How many of you read the quote above to say “If you are expecting your purpose to turn up today…”? Did you read it with or without the ‘not’. This will show you what your RAS is unconsciously programmed to. Is it programmed to look for the negative or the affirmative in your quest for purpose?

* Let go of all the yesterdays you have ever lived.

Review how you tell your story of what today will bring. Be aware now of all the items of the past you litter into your today story.

When you can stop dragging the pains of the past into today, you can become awake to the new possibilities awaiting you today. You cannot change yesterday but you can change today which in itself changes all your tomorrows.

* Don’t let tomorrow guard the doorway

Do you have a picture in your mind that one day you will take a month, 3 months or year out of your life, go on a beautiful retreat, to figure out your life purpose? Or that one day you will think about your purpose?

The problem with this is that it keeps your purpose in the future. If your idea about your purpose starts with ‘one day’, then you have already moved it away from you. Tomorrow never comes. It can only be discovered in today.

2. Believing your life purpose is something you have to get outside of you.

I hear this story repeatedly from clients when we first meet. They believe they have to go in search of the perfect job or that their purpose is ‘out there’ somewhere waiting to be discovered. Or worst still, that I have the magic answer and I can give it to them.

The most common false beliefs of those looking for their life purpose outside of themselves are:

  • ​I will just keep doing what I’m doing and one day my purpose will miraculously become clear and appear to me;
  • I have to change what I do to line up with my purpose;
  • I need to take some time out, go on a retreat, go live on a farm to find my purpose.

If you believe your purpose it outside of you,
then you are looking for it in all the wrong places.

* Your purpose is not something outside of you. It’s inside you!

Your purpose was chosen by you before you took human form. Your soul chose it. Your purpose is like an invisible force field attracting people, experiences, relationships and events into your life. It brings to you everything you need to experience and learn from to prepare you to live in to your purpose. It is in this life learning that you then become the person you need to BE to live a life of purpose.

* Your purpose is found in your life experiences, your passions, your values

Each one of your life experiences has been the perfect classroom to help you awaken to your internal blockages, limiting beliefs and negative programs that block you from learning more about yourself.

Each experience, qualification, crisis, unwanted event in your life has brought a richness to who you are. When you can realise this you will begin to develop a deeper connection to yourself as a whole. This is the groundwork for aligning with your purpose. Your life is, and has been, equipping you, bringing you the right tools and experience, to help you align with who you are and what you came here for.

Look at what lessons you learned from your life experiences. What qualities emerged from within you as a result of overcoming challenges. Then you will start to see the emerging qualities of Self that make up your purpose. That mission you came here to fulfil.

3. Thinking you have to achieve success doing what you don’t like before you can do what you do like.

This is backwards. Why? Because, your ability to attract your purpose is directly related to how you feel and think about your current situation. Your thoughts and feelings have an energy to them. Your ‘vibe’ or vibration. Everything is energy. You are a vibrational ball of energy. You live in a world based on energetic vibration. You attract to you everything that is aligned with your vibrational output.

* You ask vibrationally

You are like a huge radio antenna. You give out and receive energy vibrations constantly. The more you feel sad, you more you draw to you sad experiences. The more you feel joyful, the more you will experience joyful interactions.

You are constantly VOTING energetically in every moment with whatever you put your time, energy and money towards.

* You vote with your energy

You place your desires, wishes and dreams as vibrational orders with the whole of Creation. In other words, it doesn’t matter what you are ‘doing’. But it matters a great deal how you think and feel about what you are doing because this directly affects your vibrational order.

The longer you stay in a job or relationship that makes you miserable, brings you no fulfilment, stifles your creativity, inspiration, the further away you move from your own wishes and dreams vibrationally. You are no longer a vibrational match to who you really are and what you really want.

When I was a lawyer, I was spending all my time and energy of doing something that was not in alignment with who I was. It took all my energy to do this job. I then had nothing in the tank left to do anything else but spend my weekends sleeping or spending money to try to buy some relief or pleasure. This is a dangerous cycle to be in and takes us nowhere fast.

Are you in alignment or out of alignment with your purpose?

Here is a simple test to see if you are currently in or out of alignment with your purpose and help you to see new possibilities to move your awareness into today, your inner wisdom and greater alignment.

Answer YES or NO

Are you happy in your work?

At the end of the day are feeling full of energy, motivated and inspired by your day?

Is your life/career a good reflection of your personal values and beliefs?

Do the people closest to you bring out the best in you, inspire you, support you?

Is your home life exciting and fulfilling?

Do you feel you are fulfilling your highest purpose?

Do you spend your days doing what you love?

Do you feel you have lots of freedom in your life?

Are you easily able to make choices for yourself?

Do the things you want show up in your life effortlessly?

Are your current choices with your time, money and energy bringing you satisfaction?

Can you easily say no to others when they ask you to do something you don’t want to/don’t have time for/will impose upon you greatly?

Do you have lots of support from those closest to you?

If you have lots of NO’s, it is likely that you are: working really hard for less money than you know you deserve; being passed over for that promotion at work; surrounded by people who drain your energy, have a lot of drama in their life, expect you to do everything for them; spending all your money on your days off on trips away, shopping or socialising just to feel better; exhausted, burnt out, uninspired, unhealthy, unmotivated, and wondering “why am I not happy?

Getting back into alignment

* First get into Alignment, then take Inspired Action

When you take fear based action without getting into joy based alignment you just get exhausted. You then send out signals of exhaustion and create more of the same.

From the test above, see what changes you need to make to how you spend your time, energy and money. Change how you ‘vote’ for what you really want by making different choices in your daily life.

When you choose to do more things that you get enjoyment from, then you start to get into more alignment with what you really want and become more magnetic to your purpose. From this place of alignment, your actions will be more inspired and effortless.

*Start small

It is not the grand gesture of leaving a draining job or an unhappy relationship that will get you into alignment. It is in the day to day little choices you make to how you ‘spend’ your time, money and energy.

Choose something you can easily action today. It can be as simple as taking a well earned lunch break in a park or taking 5 minutes to meditate or just connect to you breath. Or saying no to someone who you always say yes to. Or spending your money on a journal that you can write your inspired ideas in.

Do you want to know more about what it takes to find your purpose? Click here to book your Breakthrough Call with me to discover how.


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